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Quick Tips to Renew Your Parenting
Your go-to podcast for practical parenting support in under 10 minutes
Quick Tips to Renew Your Parenting
Kindness in Parenting
When I say be kind to your kids, I don’t mean just being nice to them. I mean treating them with respect and kindness. Kindness and respect build trust. When children feel safe, seen, and valued, they are more likely to open up to us, follow rules, and treat others with kindness.
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Hi there, I’m Emily Scott, PhD a certified parent coach and mom of three, from Renewed Hope Parenting, and welcome to 'Quick Tips to Renew Your Parenting' — your go-to podcast for practical parenting advice in under 10 minutes. Today, we’re talking about the power of kindness in parenting and why assuming the best about our kids can make a world of difference. As always, I keep this podcast short and sweet because most of us busy parents don’t have a lot of spare time. Remember, even small steps can renew your heart for parenting well.
When I say be kind to your kids, I don’t mean just being nice to them. I mean treating them with respect and kindness. I also don’t mean that we aren’t firm or don’t act as the authority in our family. We can be nice to our kids without instilling the value of kindness in our family. We can also be a kind and firm authority, who still allows our kids to deal with consequences, who provides positive, healthy guidance, and who still holds boundaries.
[1:04] Parenting with kindness doesn't mean being permissive; it means treating our children with the same respect we give others while holding firm, loving boundaries.
Why Kindness Matters: Kindness and respect build trust. When children feel safe, seen, and valued, they are more likely to open up to us, follow rules, and treat others with kindness. Plus, modeling kindness now sets the stage for healthy relationships in adulthood. If we are consistently unkind to our kids, why would they want to come to us with their problems or hang to have us part of their lives when they are adults?
Instilling kindness within our family goes beyond how we treat each other at home. It teaches our children how to interact with the world. When we prioritize kindness as a family value, we give our children a moral compass that guides their decisions and relationships throughout life. Children who grow up in a kind and respectful environment are more likely to become empathetic, compassionate adults who contribute positively to their communities. Again, this doesn’t mean that we don’t enforce boundaries. We want to instill the value of kindness, and this can absolutely go along with the value of holding boundaries, saying no, and being firm.
Additionally, when kindness is the foundation of family interactions, it creates a strong family bond. Families that practice kindness together are better equipped to navigate challenges, resolve conflicts, and support each other through life's ups and downs. Simple acts like helping a sibling with homework, comforting a family member who's upset, or expressing gratitude for each other reinforce the importance of kindness every day.
[2:34] Tip 1: Assume the Best. When kids act out, it's easy to jump to conclusions. But often, challenging behavior is a sign of unmet needs or big emotions. Instead of thinking, "They're just being difficult," try making the mental shift to, "They might be struggling with something I can't see." This is especially true with teens, who often mask their struggles behind attitude or withdrawal. I firmly believe that we want to approach most people who kindness in our interactions. We never know what kind of struggles someone may have going on that we cannot see. Our kids may be worried about something or dealing with a friendship issue we aren’t aware of. Any of these childhood struggles can come out in their behavior.
Tip 2: Stay Curious, Not Furious. When your child acts out, pause and ask yourself, "What might be going on beneath the surface?" Curiosity helps us respond with empathy and gives our kids the safety to share what's really happening.
Tip 3: Model Kindness and Respect. Children learn how to treat others by watching us. If we want kind, respectful kids, we must show them kindness and respect — even in tough moments. A simple "I see you're upset. I'm here to help," can de-escalate a situation more effectively than a lecture. We can preach and lecture kindness all we want, but if we aren’t living it out, our kids aren’t seeing it being modeled.
[4:47]Bonus Quick Tip: Set clear, consistent boundaries with kindness. For example, "I understand you want more screen time, but our rule is one hour. Let's find something else fun to do."
Bonus Quick tip 2: Don’t shame or beat yourself up if you don’t approach a situation with kindness or don’t always treat your children with kindness. The stressors of adulthood can really weigh on us and impact how we respond to our kids. We often blow up at them because we have something festering within us (similar to what we talked about with our kids struggling and seeing it in their behavior). Give yourself grace, ask for forgiviness, and find a way to learn from the experience. Our continued growth as a parent will only benefits our family.
[5:44]Remember, assume the best of your kids, stay curious instead of furious, and model kindness while maintaining clear boundaries. And remember, we get overwhelmed, we are stressed, we snap at our kids sometimes. It happens. Those difficult moments don’t define us as parents. I encourage you to continue to focus on your own growth and take each moment one at a time.
If you found today’s tips helpful, check out my online parenting classes for more in-depth strategies or grab a copy of my book 31 Days to Renew Your Parenting or one of our Parent-Child Journals on Amazon. Visit RenewedHopeParenting.com to learn more. Thanks for joining me on 'Quick Tips to Renew Your Parenting.' Small changes can bring big renewal. See you next time!